"You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.The problem is no one runs in your family." The problem isn't that obesity runs in your family."The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast."."Money can't buy you happiness? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal!"."Worrying works! More than 90 percent of the things I worry about never happen.".My first experience with culture shock? Probably when I peed on an electric fence.".
"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance."A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.".But teach a man to fish, and you saved yourself a fish, haven't you?" "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.I realized that the other day inside my fort." But it was no match for me at kickboxing." But I know a girl that would get really mad if she heard me say that." "I'm skeptical of anyone who tells me they do yoga every day.It's pretty cute until it poops on your head." Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad." "Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.I get to the end and I think, 'Well, that's not going to happen.'" "I read recipes the same way I read science fiction.I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs." "I always take life with a grain of salt.This is why some people appear bright until they open their mouths." ae0fcc31ae342fd3a1346ebb1f342fcb Clever one-liners to have on-hand Shutterstock Commit them to memory, and you'll have your friends laughing so hard they won't even remember why the conversation had lagged in the first place. Here are 60 funny, clever, and oh-so-smart one-liners that are perfect for any occasion.
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